My laptop says that it is exactly 10:24 am. My prof is blabbing about multiple requirements while the rest of the class( and this includes me) fails ever so epically in pretending to listen to his lecture. It been a while since ive had my dose of tongue-ing my mind and right now, i feel like doing so.
Where i start to think:
The complexity of human emotions astound me...or to be exact...it is still giving me my fair share of astonishment. Has it ever entered your mind how emotions are formed? How they can change? How subjective they can be? How you can actually manipulate it, fake it, mask it and more over...deny it? How do things around you affect your emotions? Or how do your emotions affect what YOU DO and HOW you see things?
Then his fingers snapped and brought me back to reality.
Where do i draw the line between what i want and need, and what i need but not so want anymore? I'm starting to realize that this post is being invaded by a multitude of questions rather than the actual clarifications i wish would soon slap me in the face. I'm having this liking lately of sleeping during the wee hours of the morning for the solemnity of the silence and the tranquility of knowing everyone is there but do not care a thing about you for now is actually a comfort. It stretches the horizon ahead of me, gives me space to think...too much space and too much thinking sometimes.
Last night till a little early today, it was a bit different. It was almost 2am, but i was too absorbed with a fun conversation and an academic paper that so victoriously took my mind away from the mundane things that preoccupy my it. The space was far beyond, laid in front of me, but it was empty, no words, no questions, none. It was nonetheless liberating and light :> However, everything eventually comes to an end, an end more often than not unwanted by the parties, by the weaker one at least. I put down my phone, closed my laptop and all of these thoughts suddenly burst out of my now bulky mind.
Where i start to rationalize:
Forgive my vague thoughts, aspirations, random questions, misplaced rants and unstable views. One can never attain an ever stable emotional state in life. Those who are able to do so have never risked anything, have never shared a part of them to others, have never been able to acquire others because of that, have never felt pain...but have never loved as well. And that is a sad thing. The complexity of human emotions was never meant to be understood, for emotions were in the first place meant to be felt. The farthest we can reach to understanding from where we obtain our human emotions is the fact that it indeed is complex...Why? Feel it:)
Where i wish to end:
It just turned exactly 10:49am...i am happy, sad, bothered, excited and all the other possible emotions i am able to generate. I am inspired, expired, exhilarated, bored. This proves im human.
Where i actually end:
A finger snapped and I looked up to the reality i am living in right now. For this i am happy, I've grown tired of looking at the station's filthy tiled floor:)
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2 comments:
that probably explains how some people tend to make me bipolar. =))
IKR :)) ganyan talaga human nature :)
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