chArONIMOUS

Well, i do have a pocketful of sunshine. And i guess that's one thing that kept me alive.haha!This week has been a rollercoaster-ride of frivolous emotions that i thought would end the last of me!haha. Well anyway, i still am alive and is very much able to write a post about it.

Hmm, to tongue these happenings, let me start!

Throughout these troubled days of my usually not-so troubled days, i realized i was weak and strong at the same time, after all. I unveiled my own superpowers lingering just within the very essence of my being.(wow so ako naman ang wonderwoman!haha) Indeed tough times call for tougher guts, and i got 'em covered baby!haha. What i'm trying to say is that during times when we thought we'll be lost and we'll be drowned in the emptiness, we realize the worth of people and things around us, we realize who we really are, what we are made of and what we are when things that we hold on to (leech-like kapit.,haha) suddenly (but with all justification in the whole milkyway) and almost as instanly vanish (or so i thought it had). You'll never really get to the point of appreciating a person or a possession to the max if in the first place, you never felt the feeling of lossing it. And it gives us extra batteries.

Yes, much a cliche as it is, it holds truth to the very core.
But hell do you not try to intentionally lose these priceless possessions you keep, nothing on earth is ever gonna be like it.

Hmmm. So, the week before last week I attended Physics period with swollen eyes. I was darn embarassed with my appearance but i couldn't bear missing the period so i went to school anyway. That morning as i got home, i got the most unexpected news about someone superhyperultramega close to me(a relative po) that i couldn't help by cry. I cried the whole lunchbreak and not even my mom could comfort me. I felt weak for the reason that there was nothing i could do for the person i care for so much, but sulk. I endured the negative thoughts for the whole aftrnoon and continued the depression just that night. (hehe.,mmk).

Just a few days after, i noticed things getting out of hand at school and inside of me, 'till confrontations happened. I was actually aware of the fact but kept a blind eye to it. I never thought that i was already out of my bounds(or maybe i kept on convincing myself that i was still within my limits.i don't know!) So the thing i feared the most happened. I was confronted with a daredevil situation challenging my sanity.

The most important people in my life are slowly drifting away, 1 i had to let go by herself so that she'll learn, the other, i had to shoo away for my sake and his and the last one i had to give space and enough time to regain what she has lost. Haaaaay, it was doomsday, i never thought i'd exist to this day!(haha, surprisingly i can humor these things now.)

I was dying, crumbling into pieces. I couldn't concentrate on the things i had to do. I broke the cup last time, i would always catch myself staring into oblivion and contained tears were flowing out like the raging reming.{i thought?} i lost myself too. If not yet, nearly.

But as i have said, i shall be waiting for every piece i lost, patiently and time unconsciously.